JVN Blog

WHY Do I Volunteer and Fundraise?

By Michelle, Liverpool, February 2017

This is what I sometimes ask myself with all the different groups I have got involved with.

So, I’m in my mid 40’s now and I occasionally sit back and think how did I start all this?

Where does it stem from? Who am I? Why do I get a buzz from the work I do?

Is it actually “work”?

My mum died 6 months ago. In fact that’s the first time I have said “died”. I have always said passed away as “died” seems so final. It got me thinking. What do I remember from my childhood that made me want to help? I remember a really lovely childhood, and seeing my mum carry out lots of fundraising for different charities. I remember her doing voluntary work for Citizens Advice Bureau.

I remember my dad being the “confidante” for people. Whenever his friends had a problem, they would chat to my dad about it. No one knew this of my dad, because he was a quiet, private man. But still, nearly 20 years after he has passed away his old school friends come up to me and talk about him. He made a real impression on peoples’ lives.

So, yes, that’s why. I want to continue what they have taught me.

In 2012, my aunt needed the help of Marie Curie hospice. She had been in hospital for a while, her cancer was progressing and she wasn’t ready to go home yet. She needed pain management, and a bit of physiotherapy. Obviously she was scared going there from the safe place of a hospital. It made it a lot easier for the family to visit though, as it was so much nearer to all our homes.

Upon arrival at the hospice she was greeted by lovely happy faces at reception, nurses introduced themselves, and then the drinks trolley arrived! Her face lit up. She wasn’t a big drinker or anything, but what a welcome. Straight away she knew she would be comfortable and well looked after.

First impressions really do count. I remember that in everything I do now.

During her time there, her condition deteriorated. She was given all the respect, love and care she needed. In December 2012 she peacefully passed away with us by her side.

I couldn’t just release my ties with Marie Curie then. I decided to up my game, live life to the full, and start the series of challenges I am still carrying out today.

I booked on to a charity trek and decided to raise funds for two charities, one of these being Marie Curie.

In October 2013 I travelled with a group of people to trek along the Great Wall of China. Family and friends were so generous. Some people donated in memory of my aunt, others because they knew someone who had needed the help of the hospice.

In 2014, my step father also needed the help of Marie Curie. He had a condition called Progressive Supranuclear Palsy.

This is a condition that can cause problems with balance, movement, vision, speech and swallowing. His help was from the day unit, and some massage treatments. He found a lot of help through this. He passed away in a nursing home in April 2014.

This pushed me to do my next challenge. I decided to sign up to trek in Sri Lanka in aid of Marie Curie.

Around the same time as this I saw an advert from the hospice looking for volunteers to befriend terminally ill people in their own homes. This really interested me.

The project is called the Helper Service. You get to spend up to 3 hours per week in one session chatting to somebody who either feels lonely, or wants a new friend to chat to, or to give the family a bit of respite from the care they give.

I contacted the manager. She interviewed me, got to know more about me and I got to have a few questions answered. I then attended a few days learning about the service. With all the formalities checked and completed I received a phone call. They had a lady who would be well suited to me.

I met this lady in her home. She had a great sense of humour although she had been housebound for a while due to her condition, which had saddened her.

So, with me liking my challenges we decided to set a goal. She wanted to plan towards getting out, having a chippy whilst looking over the River Mersey.

We took little steps towards this. For the first few weeks we sat in, then we ventured out to her garden, then eventually we did it.

The smile on her face and the praise she gave for the service made it so worthwhile.

Back to the trekking, this happened towards the end of November 2015.

Just before this, my mum was diagnosed with cancer.

She had an operation and was home a couple of weeks before I headed off.
Obviously she was constantly on my mind. Every challenge I came up against I thought of both my mum and dad telling me I was absolutely ridiculous, but they were immensely proud of me. This kept me achieving my goal.

On the last day I received a message telling me that my mum had got the all clear. Elated didn’t come near to how I felt.

I returned home and celebrated the donations that had come in whilst I was away. Again people were so generous with their donations.

By January, my mum didn’t seem to be recovering as quickly as we thought. She had some tests and we found out the cancer was already back.

I continued with the Helper service for a while but then, thankfully, the manager told me I should step back for a bit and put it on hold whilst I spend time with my mum.

It took some persuasion, because I don’t like quitting. But I knew she was right, and so I did.

I wrote a letter to my client to explain that I hadn’t given up on her and a new person would visit instead. I have heard she is doing well, and still receives visits, which reassures me.

My mum passed away in Marie Curie Hospice in July 2016. She had a couple of visits there for pain management, and also her end of life care.

This part of writing isn’t flowing so easily. I actually don’t know what I can write for this part. Only to say that she had her final request of dying with her 3 daughters around her.

Family was everything to my mum. This continues in me and my 2 sisters.

We have always had a strong family bond. But there is something I feel now which mum has left us. I can’t describe it. But wherever we are in the world, I know we are connected and loved.

In September 2016, I trekked up Ben Nevis with a group from the hospice. By my side at the top was the manager of the Helper Service. She knew what I had gone through the past year and all she needed to do was give me a massive hug at the top and I knew my mum was watching. (Although I think my mum would rather die than trek up Ben Nevis!)

Knowing the support I received from her, helped me decide to get back to doing something I enjoyed and knew helped others.

I have now received a new “friend” through the Helper Service. It is going so well. This lady loves to go out for lunch, theatre trips, and chat and giggle. She knows her time is limited, but wants to enjoy it as much as possible. Why not!

So now I am heading towards becoming 45. On the 18th March, my birthday, I am trekking up and round the Grand Canyon in memory of my mum and all the other people who have passed through my life and made me the person I am. Donations are coming in really well. As with the other treks, I am funding it myself to ensure all the money donated is going towards the help Marie Curie can provide.